“Who did this?” or “Who is responsible for this mess?” or “Why is this not completed still?” haven’t we all come across these questions at some point in life! Be it a kid or a working professional, there comes a time where we are asked questions. The “Blaming Question” or “Responsibility Question” as I term them.
What got me thinking was why, from an innocent child to a working professional with so many experiences behave in the same manner when it comes to taking the responsibility. Why is it that a child who has just few years of interaction with people lies when asked of any wrong doing? How do they learn it or understand that he/she needs to lie now?
I have been working from more than five years now and it’s in my nature to ask a hundredth of a time before I give it a green signal from my end. Then why is it that, there will be finger pointing the moment things go south? isn’t “one’s fall, whole teams fall” the bottom line?
Amazingly, the only answer I can think of is the FEAR OF GETTING PUNISHED and/or OUTCAST.It is taught in every team building activity that “in a team there is no I” but we forget there is a hidden “I” in the team as well. Even as a child, we are taught what’s right and what’s not. But we are not taught what happens when things go wrong. A child just knows its wrong and the fear starts building up. The fear of what will my parents say/think of me(or boss/manager in case of a working person) or will they every trust me again with anything and many more doubts follow. We unknowingly scare our children of committing a mistake that they begin lying about things; And that’s where the seeds of the GAME OF BLAME is sowed.
I believe that mistakes are good. Only by making a mistake you will be enlightened.
Only when we know what is wrong do we understand the rights. But the unfortunate reality is that people feel ashamed of their mistake and fear them getting out. Only when we start teaching our children, friends, and colleagues the beauty of mistakes will they become future leaders/owners creating their own unique history.
Share your experience if you have come across such situations where people shy away from taking ownership or didn’t stand up and take responsibility or if you’v ever had the Blaming/Responsibility questions pointed at you and how you tackled it. after all EXPERIENCE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE.
Happy parenting and team building till then 🙂